Big Changes, New Routines.

They can be scary things for neurodivergent folk, I'm overwhelmed by possibility but excited nonetheless.

January was a strangely turbulent time. In December I found out a contractor role I loved and had worked in for 9 months was ending early, and a full time internal role was becoming available that I could apply for. I was initially excited about this, I thought it was a new opportunity that could be an environment for growth. But in reality I was trying to hold onto some stability rather than face the alternative of heading fully freelance. I applied for the job, and was accepted after jumping through a few hoops and two rounds of interviews with my current managers. It was only after being accepted I realised that there wasn’t much to gain from the role besides the stability of regular income, so I declined.

The freedom of working for myself, albeit with much less certainty regarding income, had a much longer list of perks.

Now I face the beginning of being fully self employed and have somewhat overwhelmed myself with possibility, potential and excitement to the point where it’s hard to begin anything. A familiar feeling for all the fellow neurodivergent folk out there. I absolutely feel as if this is the right decision for me, because it’s the one with the right amount of scared to excitement ratio, which seems like a good recipe for growth. I have to remind myself I’m 23, out of education for the first time since I was 5 years old, and I’m able to take risks and have fun.

My manager (and friend) has been a guide for me throughout the whole process. She made the wise point of if everything went well at those options (freelance vs full time) which would you be happiest to be doing? She encouraged me to make the decision based on hope rather than fear, and ultimately that’s what I did.

Now it’s a case of creating a new routine, working out how I want to work, in what capacity, where, when, what etc. I have comfort in knowing there are multiple streams for me to pour energy into, from crafting (woodwork, textiles, painting) to photography, videography and content creation. The ball is in my court, I just need to figure out which goal I’m heading towards.